"22...28...22...28..."
Thursday, April 28, 2005
 
More of a scarlet blush....
My payroll administrator came into my office yesterday....

"Hey Carrie? Can I get your John Hancock on this stack?"
"Sure, you want my Hancock or just some random ones?"
"Random ones.. more fun that way"

5 minutes past.. my signature flies... Grab stack of papers
head back to payroll office....

"Here ya go! I Handcocked the shit outta ya"

Monday, April 25, 2005
 
Post Period Pissings....
Close your eyes men.. you dont wanna hear all this.....

Tampons! I seem to always end up finishing 2 Halves of boxes. I finish off the box from before.. then go out and buy a whole new box.. and only make it half way into that box.. So then next month.. I finish that box.. then Absolutely HAVE to buy another full box.. only to have the damn Dam up before I'm mid box. Now.. numerically wise.. i should eventually start and finish a complete box, right? I mean, if I'm using less than half a full box at the end.. then shouldn't I eventually just be back to needing one full box?

Friday, April 22, 2005
 
NOT husband bashing.. just contemplating....
You know how sometimes men say things that don't always seem to connect to their brain and process before flying out of their mouth? Let me first say I'm not mad over this comment.. it was just one of those things that made me tilt my head slightly to the left and furrow my brow over whether he meant what he said and is just being a momentary jackass OR if the words flew out without ever consulting his feminine-anger-awareness side...
Basic background...
My daughter is sick. She started with a cough which turned into a fever at the tail end of a school day. Husband brought her home, I met them home and began taking care of my sick baby. She's got a horrible cough, a nice high fever, yucky runny but crusty nose.. the full works. And after spending the evening trying to get her fever down and work with all sorts of air passage freeing medications, I was finally able to get her to sleep. Hubby was already staying home with her the next day and I had already gotten an early morning doctor appointment for him to take her to. Over the next several hours however, I changed my mind. I was up and in her bed the majority of the night to early dawn. I got minimal snatches of sleep in between the coughing that jarred ME awake instead of her and my concentrating on HER breathing to see if she was straining at all. I decided that I was skipping work and I was taking my poor sick baby to the doctor, sleep be damned. I get up at 8am, get her dressed and run to the doctor's. Hubby is sound asleep, hubby had NO clue that I had only been in our bed for the past 45 minutes. For some reason, the mommy gene includes the Wide-awake-to-a-simple-cough strand whereas the daddy gene is resplendant with the Sleep-through-a-hurricane strand.
Approx 4 hours later baby girl and I arrive at home with 6 perscriptions and a diagnosis Bronchitis. I pick up lunch, feed the family, drug my daughter and finally sneak in a two hour much needed nap before Daddy calls me and wants me to meet him to pick out some patio furniture he and step-mom are buying for us. Sometime after getting the furniture home and Re-drugging my child for bed I explain to hubby that he needs to stay home with baby next day because she needs an extra day of rest to help her lungs clear up AND has medication that really needs to be given at certain times. I cannot miss another day of work no matter how much I would love to, so I need him to stay home with her and take care of that.
His reply...aka.. the reason I cocked my head to the side and furrowed my brow at him in bafflement......
"Okay, if baby keeps YOU up all night tonight, then I'LL stay home with her tomorrow"

And he said it with a straight face.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
 
What I learned today....
Keep your head well out of swinging distance when opening your car door...
Who needs an abusive spouse when one can so readily fatten her own lip?

Thursday, April 14, 2005
 
The Impotency of the Omnipotent....
Once again my wonderful car has tossed me a bucket of crap.. and Surprise.. Its the brakes.
Short re-cap.. In the past let's say 6 months I've shelled out approx. $1100.00 on brake work.
Outrageous amounts for a vehicle that's never been in an accident. Obviously somewhere in the beginning of all this brake work.. someone did something bad and it's just keeps repeating itself. However, due to my previous horrific experiences at the hands of full mechanics, I decided I would take my "Brake" problem to those claiming to be strictly "Brake Specialists".
In a desperate effort to gain sympathy and hopefully a reasonable price on the repair I called the number listed and told my sob story to the fine understanding older mechanic on the other end of the line. I told him about the multiple trips to a mechanic, the piles of money, the con and the new grinding noise that started the day before. I told him straight out that I was hoping that by seeing brake specialists that I can avoid expensive charges and further hassles. He calmed me and assured me that his people could take care of me and that he would set me up for an appointment at 8am the following morning. "Thank you so much Ted, this brake issue has been causing me problems for so long I really look forward to having the problems resolved and not having to spend an entire pay check on it"......

8AM- The following morning...
Enter the brake shop... late 20ish man at the counter on the phone.. I approach, smile and wait.


Him: Morning.. can I help you?
Me: Yeah, I have an appointment for this morning, my name is Carrie.
Him: Yep, got you right here, leave me the keys and a number we can reach you at.
Me: Keys right here, and I'll write my number here on the form.
Him: I'll call you as soon as we have looked at it.

Back at work.. waiting for the phone to ring with the good news that I was assured of the previous night.

Him: Carrie?
Me: YES! You've got my estimate?
Him: Yeah, okay.. Your pads are gone you're metal on metal and the rotor will need to be replaced. We are also going to have to replace your Caliper, but it's a hydraulic thing so we will be replacing both sides. It's about $500.00...
Me:...................................................
Him: Are you there?
Me: ................................ Okay look.. (insert entire sob story again here)....
Him: Well I'm sorry miss but your caliper keeps heating up because the piston keeps over extending..
Me: Well what causes that? I've replaced the damn part 3 times now.. Look can I speak to Ted, He's the one who made me the appointment yesterday and I think he will be more helpful.
Him: Ted doesnt work here?
Me: Huh?
Him: Ted is just an appointment setter in an office somewhere. He handles all the incoming calls, but he doesnt actually work here.
Me: ...............shit............
Him: Tell ya what.. I'll give you a hundred dollars off.. call it the cute girl discount..
Me: Call it fuck off, I'm coming to get my car now.


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